Preparing For Cannibalism With Maynard James Keenan

So in case you haven’t heard, the zombie apocalypse is upon us! In Miami this past weekend, police shot and killed a drugged up naked man in the process of eating some guy’s face (there’s pictures here, but they’re extremely NSFW and you can’t unsee them). Because the Miami New Times figured that they might as well provide a service to go along with this disturbing story, they tapped the services of Tool/Puscifer singer/Merkin Vineyards entrepreneur Maynard James Keenan. If you’re going to wind up eating a human face, you might as well have expert advice on what kind of wine to pair with it.

While the closest Metal Insider comes to recommending cannibalism is listening to Cannibal Corpse, Keenan had no problem offering his picks for the best wine to sip alongside a face. “For cheeks, you’ll obviously want a pinot noir,” he told the blog. Since the tongue is gamier, he recommends a larger shiraz with oak in it, or Barolo if it’s served raw with olive oil and herbs. As for the nose and lips, he said that since they’re more aligned with hot dogs or bratwurst, he’d recommend beer. It’s ironic, or perhaps not, that the interview is so tongue in cheek. Puscifer will be on tour (hitting Miami on June 12, actually) starting next week. Check their tour dates here.

Video: Iron Maiden Wine Unboxing Is Making Us Thirsty

Wasted years indeed. Iron Maiden’s at it again with the fourth vintage of “Eddie’s Evil Brew,” a Cabernet Sauvignon sold exclusively through the band’s web store. Some lucky bastard got a bottle of it and is teasing us all by unboxing it. Skip ahead to about 1:15 so see the good stuff. While you can technically order it from their store, first of all, they’re currently sold out. Secondly, the site has a disclaimer that they’re only guaranteeing delivery of the $26/bottle wine in European Union countries, so it’s on you if some customs douchebag confiscates it.

Randy Rhoads’ Sister To Release Commemorative Wine

Kathryn Rhoads D’Argenzio, sister of late Ozzy Osbourne guitarist Randy Rhoads, will be honoring her brother’s legacy be releasing a commemorative-edition Randy Rhoads wine.

Kathryn says: “In tribute to my brother Randy Rhoads, I would like to dedicate this special limited release Cabernet Sauvignon in honor of his legacy memory and my devoted love.”

The Randy Rhoads special edition 2005 Cabernet Sauvignon will be available on August 15, 2010. It is limited to two bottles per customer. For more information, go to this location.

The then-lead guitarist for Ozzy Osbourne, Rhoads and two others were killed in 1982 when their small plane struck Osbourne’s tour bus and crashed.

If this was just another winery looking to cash in on a rock icon, we’d be a little put off by it. But since D’argenzio a) runs the winery and b) was related to Rhoads, it’s a nice tribute. It’d be kinda cool to have a wine-off to see which is the better wine, the Rhoads or Maynard James Keenan’s Merkin Vineyards. Anyone wanna send us a bottle of each?