There’s something unsettling about watching the video of Tim Lambesis’ arraignment yesterday. Watching the As I Lay Dying frontman’s reaction as the prosecuting attorney calmly details how he wanted his wife dead and meeting with an undercover detective with cash. And while there’s apparently audio of Lambesis, we can only speculate how everything looked when it went down. Actually, now we have a visual component thanks to Taiwanese company Tomo News. Their video reenacments of news events are always insane, and occasionally hysterical. This isn’t laugh out loud funny, but it is really surreal. Think about it – if someone told you last week that you’d be watching an animated Tim Lambesis pumping iron at the gym and plotting to kill his wife, you’d have told them to shut up and keep mourning Jeff Hanneman’s death. Check it out after the jump: Read more »
Ever wonder what it would be like to screw a ghost? Well, Ghost B.C. is offering fans the closest way to get intimate with an apparition. Available now via their webstore, the Swedish groups is now selling the “Phallos Mortuus Ritual Box Set,” which includes a dildo and butt plug.
More specifically, here’s what this sex themed box set features:
1 x Exclusive Papa Emeritus II Dildo Puppet-master T-Shirt (only available with this item)
1 x Bible box case with Gold embossed artwork and red velvet lining
1 x Divorce paper scroll with customised Ghost foil emblem
1 x Ghost B.C. brushed metal logo charm
1 x Bronze effect metal butt plug with moulded Grucifix logo base
1 x Sculpted black silicone Papa Emeritus II dildo
Granted, Ghost B.C. aren’t the first group to offer their female audience (along with a few males) a little something extra. Still, the Papa Emeritus II dildo is very detailed… almost a little too detailed. And the divorce paper scroll is a nice added touch. This is being sold for $199.99, with only 250 of the box set being made.
Guy Kozowyk is the badass singer of The Red Chord and founder of the label Black Market Activities. Now we can add another title to his resume: police officer.
According to the New Hampshire Union Leader, Kozowyk was among the seven men who were sworn in as Manchester, NH police recruits this past Monday (April 15). They even posted a photo of a clean shaven Kozowyk during the ceremony as seen above (third from the left).
While the thought of Kozowyk being a cop is weird enough as it is, we can’t imagine how he’s able to find time for a third job in addition to running BMA and singing in The Red Chord. Here’s just hoping that Kozowyk’s new gig doesn’t delay The Red Chord’s new album (which the band admits to taking forever to complete).
It’s Good Friday, which means we’re taking off a little early for the Easter holiday. We’ll be around for any late breaking news or if we get bored after finding all the Easter eggs. Until then, we leave you with Lemmy getting into the holiday spirit. Have a good one, y’all!
[via Dangerous Minds]
What do you get when you mix a backdrop of spinning drummers, wrestling outfits, a banjo player, a lute player, masks and levitation? You get Winny Puhh, an Estonian band whose entry into the televised finals for that country to compete in the Eurovision contest sadly didn’t win. The band, who look like the offspring of a back alley encounter between Slipknot and early Mudvayne, entered the song “Meiecundimees uks Korsakob laks Eile Latti,” which roughly translates into “Meiecundimees and Korsakob Just Went to Latvia.” “A man from our region, one named Korsakov went to Latvia yesterday.” The band made it to the finals. but for some reason, didn’t go on to compete against Tony Iommi’s bad song. Good luck seeing anything more bizarre today.
[Dangerous Minds, via Zena Metal]
Scott Ian from Anthrax has the life. Whether it’s playing rhythm guitar with Anthrax and The Damned Things, playing a zombie on The Walking Dead, or appearing on just about every VH1 clip show about metal or rock, Ian certainly gets around. Apparently, another perk of being a highly visible guitar player is that you’ll occasionally get to torch a snowman with a flamethrower.
We’re not sure why this happened, but it’s pretty great. Ian put it up on his Twitter page earlier today, and while there’s no word on how or when this took place, there’s a little bit of a reason involved, as you’ll see after the jump. Let’s hope it has nothing to do with Metal Sucks, but we’re glad he’s not torching a snowman that says ‘Metal Insider.’ Don’t forget, they’ll be headlining the Metal Alliance tour, which tickets are on sale for now. Read more »
Remember back in 2009 when a young boy was stuck in a hot air balloon but then it turned out he wasn’t and it was all a hoax? Yeah, well he’s the frontman of a metal band with his brothers called Heene Boyz. No, this is not a joke. Falcon, Bradford, and Ryo Heene (ages 9, 13, and 12 respectively) have an album called Chasing Tornadoes out now and you can check out the video for the title track above. It sounds like King Diamond and Judas Priest had a really hilarious sounding doom metal baby. And for some reason, the video features pictures claiming that 9/11 was a hoax among other things. Not that their family is exactly in any position to be going around claiming they’re authorities on hoaxes. Check it out after the jump.
[via Buzzfeed]
Read more »
Got $30,000 burning a hole in your pocket, and want to impress a dead music-loving friend or relative forever? Now you can pick up the Catacombo coffin, which comes with a sound system built in. And just in case your loved one gets tired of hearing “Bury Me In Smoke” over and over again, you’ll be able to manage their playlist via the “Cataplay” sound system. The coffin apparently features a 2.5 GHz Intel core processor and a 7-inch LCD display showing what song is playing, which is totally necessary when you’re dead.
Buzzfeed found this, and even though Swedish company Pause Custom Sound Systems’ website is real, it’s hard to tell whether or not the coffin is. We’re dying to find out. Watch the creeptastic commercial for it (“godlike comfort”) after the jump.
Need something to preoccupy yourself with this weekend? Look no further than Bargain Bin Blasphemy. The creator of this tumblr account has taken it upon him or herself to give record covers varying from adult contemporary to holiday themed a black metal makeover. Most of the black metal face paint and altered words look to have been handmade on these covers, and needless to say they are hysterical. Seriously, how can you not refrain from laughing out loud at the sight of “King Crosby” (see seen above)?
Check out more pictures from Bargain Bin Blasphemy for yourself.
Let’s be real: if you consider yourself a metalhead but have never listened or gotten into bands like Black Sabbath, Metallica, or Pantera, most people will say that something went seriously wrong with your upbringing and then proceed to throw albums at your face. With that in mind, Avenged Sevenfold’s new drummer, Arin Ilejay, apparently needed to be acquainted with such legends by his new bandmates. In a recent interview with Revolver, Frontman M. Shadows said of Ilejay:
“A lot of it’s been us refreshing him on what our influences are and where we’re coming from as a band. There’s a lot of things that he was never brought up on that we have to quickly get him acquired to such as Pantera and Metallica and Slayer and Megadeth and we’re introducing him to these records that were literally the biggest records when we were growing up. Just records that you have to know. He’s much younger and he grew up listening to Avenged Sevenfold and Bullet For My Valentine, ya know? So it’s a completely different generation and it makes me feel old to even talk about it.
Right now, we’re handing him [Pantera's] Far Beyond Driven and [Metallica's] Master of Puppets and saying, “Learn these albums. You need to learn these things” because when we’re talking about “groove metal,” we’re not talking about some Warped Tour band. We’re talking about fucking Pantera! We’re talking about Black Sabbath, ya know? So we’re getting him acquired to that and I think he’s learning really quickly what we’re looking for. We’re not looking for an overly technically proficient drummer. We’re looking for a guy that knows how to fit the song and be in the groove and play the right thing in the right moment. It’s been cool. It’s been good. He’s been doing really, really well. Read more »
Posted by Bram Teitelman on Fri, May 10, 2013 at 3:46 pm
Video, WTF?!