Next weekend (August 18), the third annual GWAR-B-Q will be held at Hadad’s Lake in Richmond, VA. The festival promises loads of music, the Spew-O-Lympics, numerous food vendors, endless streams of golden nectar, and much more. Not enough for you to drop your weekend plans and head down to Virginia? Well, we were fortunate enough to have the one and only Oderus Urungus provide us with five reasons you should be going to the GWAR-B-Q this year.

So without further ado, here are five reasons to attend this year’s GWAR-B-Q from the GWAR frontman himself:

1) See, smell, and hear the most outrageous band in history, the mighty GWAR, as they put on a special intimate bloodletting in-your-face-on-every-song for thousands of their most lust-mad fans.

2) Behold the return of the Sexecutioner and Sleazy P. Martini!

3) Avoid seeing Christian Bale huff and puff his way through another lame Batman performance.

4) Get completely crazed in the hot sun, gorge yourself in delicacies both solid and liquid, work yourself into a frenzy with a host of awesome bands, compete in the “Spew-o-Lympics”, then cap the day off by passing out naked in the nearby woods.

5) Because GWAR commands it!

Tickets for this year’s GWAR-B-Q can be purchased via the festival’s website.