Not Crab-core, Just “Signature Crouches”

Posted by Dan Rodriguez on Mon, Jul 20, 2009 at 3:04 pm

MetalSucks.net

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The above caption, taken from a New York Times profile of the crab-core, screamo-crunk-autotune-infested 2009 Warped Tour, is great on so many levels. Who is this Jon Caramanica, and why is a credible establishment like the New York Times hiring someone who takes this shit seriously?

I’ve been trying to write about this growing phenomenon little as possible (except for this, which I just didn’t have the conscience to let slide), as I think it only gives credence to this silly trend. Plus there’s enough hate out there as it is, and the Insider is all about rainbows and sunshine. I’ll just let Axl at Metal Sucks take this one:

The above photo of Attack! Attack!, from the NY Times review of this past weekend’s Vans Warped Tour, has one of the funniest captions I’ve ever read.

Unfortunately, the author, Jon Caramanica, praises Attack! Attack! for having “one of the day’s best sets.” But he does include this tidbit, which made me giggle:

The gentleman with “Kill All Posers” scrawled across his upper back in black marker let 3OH!3 know exactly how he felt during its midday set on Saturday at the Vans Warped Tour. Sidling through the crowd bopping feverishly to the band’s dopey, energetic blend of electro, hip-hop and punk, he kept two middle fingers raised and his face squarely on his destination, somewhere far away.

I’d love to buy that dude a beer. I’d also love to know what the fuck he was doing at Vans Warped with a “Kill All Posers” shirt on in the first place.

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