Metal Insider’s Top 5 is a column where we count down the top five of…well basically anything.

Earlier today, jewelry makers The Great Frog revealed their new Slayer signature ring. The London-based company, who specialize in hand-crafted rock jewelry, showed off the solid sterling silver in a new promo video. Now, it’s not unusual to see Slayer’s name branded on clothing (even jewelry). Hell, you can’t go to any metal concert without seeing a dozen attendees wearing a Slayer t-shirt. Recently, though, Kerry King and the gang have signed off on a lot of unusual merchandise. So with that in mind, we decided to list the top five most bizarre gifts to have Slayer’s name on it.

5. Slayer Condoms:

Granted, it’s really just a red Durex condom in a package that has Slayer’s logo on it. Still, this may be the only condom that can get away with the tagline, “For when you’re going South of Heaven!”

4. layer Christmas Ornaments/Stocking:

Because when I think of celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and getting into the holiday spirit, I think of Slayer. Seriously, “Seasons In The Abyss” is perfect for holiday caroling.

3. “Fucking Slayer” Pint Glass:

What’s more metal than killing a pint, belching enormously, and screaming “FUCKIN’ SLAYYYERRR!!!”?  Well, maybe cleaning your outhouse afterward, but that’s beside the point.  Don’t trip coming back up the trailer steps.

2. Slayer Rolling Papers:

Do fans really need Slayer rolling papers to smoke? Well, maybe after using the Slayer condoms they do.

1. Slayer Candy Jar:

Out of all the items Slayer is currently selling via their webstore, this may be the most absurd. If a Slayer fan really does have a sweet tooth, then why not just buy a glass jar and paint Slayer’s logo on it? Do you think they seriously did anything differently to make this? Now if it had the South Of Heaven album cover on it, then we’d consider buying it.

Honorable Mention, Slayer Sneaker:

Nowadays, it’s not as unusual to see metal bands with their own signature sneaker. However, it’s still pretty rad seeing a Vans sneaker with a Slayer logo. At the very least, it’s much better than THIS Slayer “inspired” sneaker.

Honorable Mention, Slayer Cake:

Ok, so technically this isn’t Slayer merchandise. Some fans took it upon themselves to make this cake. But I think we can agree that a Slayer cake is way better than a candy jar.