Desperate to see your favorite band, Tool, live and in person but can’t afford the tickets? Or perhaps you’d just prefer to listen to some light jazz and munch on organic rice chips while just looking at someone in Tool. Well you’re in luck! Maynard James Keenan is taking his grape-stomping show on the road, signing bottles from his Caduceus line of wines. While you’re hanging out with metal royalty, do me a favor and pick up some peach mango salsa and blue corn chips, thanks.

Seriously though, check out the Caduceus site. It has to by far be the most awesome/creepy liquor-related site ever. It gave me flashbacks of sitting in front of a computer in my mom’s basement playing The Journeyman Project 2: Buried in Time… last week. Hit the jump for Maynard’s wine tour dates.

2009 Wine signings at WHOLE FOODS MARKET (and elsewhere)
June 3 – 4:30 – 7:30 pm – Milwaukee, WI (2305 N. Prospect Ave.)
June 5 – 4:30 – 7:30 pm – Chicago, IL (1500 N. Kingsbury)
June 6 – 2:00 – 5:00 pm – Chicago, IL (1101 S. Canal St.)
June 9 – 4:30 to 7:30 pm – Miami, FL (6701 Red Rd. Coral Gables)
June 10 – 4:30 to 7:30 pm – Boca Raton, FL (1400 Glades Rd.)
June 12 – 4:30 to 7:30 pm – Orlando, FL (8003 Turkey Lake Rd.)
June 13 – 2:00 to 5:00 pm – Jacksonville, FL (10601 San JoseBlvd.)
June 16 – 4:30 to 7:30 pm – Boston, MA (340 River St.)
June 17 – 4:30 to 7:30 pm – Boston, MA (340 River St.)
June 18 – 5:00 to 8:00 pm – Springfield, NJ (NOTE: not at Whole Foods – Wine Library – 586 Morris Ave.)