Preparing For Cannibalism With Maynard James Keenan

Posted by Bram Teitelman on Thu, May 31, 2012 at 2:35 pm

Why CAN'T We Not Be Sober?, Wine Is Fine

So in case you haven’t heard, the zombie apocalypse is upon us! In Miami this past weekend, police shot and killed a drugged up naked man in the process of eating some guy’s face (there’s pictures here, but they’re extremely NSFW and you can’t unsee them). Because the Miami New Times figured that they might as well provide a service to go along with this disturbing story, they tapped the services of Tool/Puscifer singer/Merkin Vineyards entrepreneur Maynard James Keenan. If you’re going to wind up eating a human face, you might as well have expert advice on what kind of wine to pair with it.

While the closest Metal Insider comes to recommending cannibalism is listening to Cannibal Corpse, Keenan had no problem offering his picks for the best wine to sip alongside a face. “For cheeks, you’ll obviously want a pinot noir,” he told the blog. Since the tongue is gamier, he recommends a larger shiraz with oak in it, or Barolo if it’s served raw with olive oil and herbs. As for the nose and lips, he said that since they’re more aligned with hot dogs or bratwurst, he’d recommend beer. It’s ironic, or perhaps not, that the interview is so tongue in cheek. Puscifer will be on tour (hitting Miami on June 12, actually) starting next week. Check their tour dates here.

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    .I just can’t. lol

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