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Pick your internet dating poison: straight-edge or ICP

Posted by on January 13, 2014

It’s actually amazing that there hasn’t been an Insane Clown Posse dating site before now. Sure, there are probably plenty of casual encounters at the Gathering, but this is different. Sadly, “JuggaLOVE” is entirely fictional dating site, fresh from the minds of YouTube comedy troupe HandleBarMustacheLand. However, if you’re looking to date someone with a lot of X’s in their user names and a distaste for drugs and alcohol, there’s a real site for dating straight-edge people, Date Edge.

According to aux.tv, who actually logged on and checked out the site, Date Edge lets you list exactly what your (lack of) poison is. Are you a Freegan that’s completely edge? How about if you do a drug or two or smoke? You can sort through your criteria and find the perfect Earth Crisis fan. If you think we’re making fun of this, well, we’re not really. It’s got to be tough to find fellow edge people if you’re new to a city, or perhaps new to not drinking any more. If looks like the site’s new, so look for it to expand, even though it’s got worldwide users on it already. So if you’re edge, or looking to date someone that is, you might want to poke around the site.

As far as JuggaLOVE, it’s definitely good for a laugh. It takes the worst aspects of the eHarmony-type commercials where a couple are talking about how they found love, slaps ICP-like face paint on them, and lets them hold forth. It’s pretty funny to see older and completely normal looking people dressed conservatively talk about “stomping fake ass juggalos,” and while it’s a low blow to see the old ones tapping veins while heating a spoon, the sketch is over before it wears out its welcome. Not to mention that the guys that made it are also up for a Doritos commercial to run in the Super Bowl, so you might not have seen the last of them yet. 

 

Categorised in: Dating