In 1995, GWAR released their fifth album, titled Ragnarok. This November, the  third installment in the Thor film series will be released. It’s titled Thor: Ragnarok. While it’s not like you can hold a copyright on Norse mythology, Gwar and Thor sound a lot alike. And GWAR’s album about a comet heading towards earth and Oderus Urungus (R.I.P.) and Slymenstra Hymen being forced to mate with space aliens has little to do with Thor and The Hulk doing battle. And neither of them have all that much to do with a future battle of the gods. Regardless, Metal Insider caught up with GWAR’s Pustulus Maximus to ask his thoughts on the trailer. In short, he was unimpressed. 

We couldn’t help but notice that GWAR’s Ragnarok came before Thor: Ragnarok. What gives?

I always came first, but that’s beside the point. 

Did Marvel come to you to ask your permission?

No they did not, but then again I don’t think anyone asked Jack Kirby before they took credit for his ideas either. 

It’s hard to tell from the trailer, but do you think that the film will touch on any themes of the album, like a comet hurtling toward earth or forced mating with space aliens? 

I think their main theme is to generate money. I’m not interested in the semantics of the movie but I believe the premise is to draw in as many slack-jawed Americans as possible to watch some dude that can’t be defeated get into a bunch of fights where he is almost defeated and ultimately win with a bunch of punching and smashing along the way to make it seem interesting. Probably a shirtless scene for the ladies in there too. Who cares?

Can you at least see if they’ll include “Meat Sandwich” on the soundtrack?

Whatever songs Disney allows will be in the movie. So probably the soundtrack will consist of a couple modern sounding farts and the obligatory overplayed classic rock song that will either be used in a stupid montage or in some awful use of juxtaposition where a character is doing something he wouldn’t normally be doing which will make the unintelligent viewer laugh because “oh my god he dancin’ in a nightclub but he’s supposed to be from Valhalla, that’s so funny.” People are stupid. You’re stupid. Seacrest, out.