Our bro-bros over at Metal Sucks aren’t the only ones making a list of metal bands. In addition to being one of the best humor sites out there, satirical newspaper and Web site The Onion‘s AV Club is a great one-stop shop for entertainment reviews and cultural criticism. Now they’ve posted a beginner’s guide to Metal.
For the most part, the list isn’t that bad. It obviously begins with Sabbath, and has other standbys including Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Slayer and Motorhead. It also has some more obscure names in the primer: Earthless is included in the stoner rock category as a descendent of Sabbath, and less mainstream bands like Cynic, Cave-In, Slough Feg, Melechesh and Genghis Tron are among those name checked. And in addition to glam, thrash, hair metal, black metal, and grindcore, they even mention pirate metal. But for all the bands that did make the list, it’s more curious what bands aren’t included. Among the exclusions: Converge, Mastodon, Pantera, Motley Crue, Tool and Dillinger Escape Plan.
They end their primer with their list of the top five essential metal albums.
1. Black Sabbath, Paranoid
2. Iron Maiden, The Number of the Beast
3. Slayer, Reign In Blood
4. Death, Individual Thought Patterns
5. Anaal Nathrakh, The Codex Necro
Listen, AV Club, there’s nothing wrong with being a little obscure, but choosing Anaal Nakrath over Metallica’s Master of Puppets is inexusable. And while this is overall an interesting list that might be able to teach an aspiring metalhead a thing or two, the exclusion of some of metal’s best bands is as puzzling as the inclusion of others (Limp Bizkit? Really?). While we know that all Metal Insider readers are already up to speed on metal, this list is definitely worth a look.