Two weeks ago, we gave you all the chance to win a copy of Obscura’s new album Omnivium. All you had to do was tell us the most obscure prank you pulled this past April Fools. We received a lot of great submissions, but we could only choose three winners. So without further ado, take a look below to see the three winning pranks.
Here’s reader Bronan! submitted prank:
You want obscure? You might as well hand over that CD right now. In fact, get that bitch signed by the band, because I’ve got the most obscure April Fools joke ever.
Back story: I work for a relatively new company. Our boss is straight crazy and started a massive project last summer to redo his garage and back yard. I’m talking MASSIVE here, like a $200k project to renovate a crappy suburban yard. At the time, we were running some of our operations out of his home office, so we got to witness firsthand all the crazy bullshit going down. My boss didn’t want to find a legit construction company to do the work for him as he was afraid that he’d get hit with higher taxes, so he hired a bunch of goons from Craigslist to work under the table. It was basically a revolving door of incompetent masons, electricians and handymen, with literally over a hundred different people getting hired, working for a week, getting in a pissing contest with my boss and then getting fired.
The worst case involved an electrician I’ll call “Steve.” Steve was pretty much king of the moron pile and my boss just told him not to come back because he was fucking up so badly – primarily from showing up drunk and forgetting to shut down the electricity while he worked on it. My boss gave Steve the ol’ heave ho after he forgot to shut down the electricity and damn near electrocuted another dude. Steve got pissed and called the city on my boss, who was then forced to halt construction until he got a building permit. Needless to say there’s no love lost.
Fast forward to about two weeks ago when my boss decides that we’re going to apply to become a part of the local chamber of commerce. My coworker and I figure it’s going to be a hell of a prank to forge a letter from the city stating that our application to the chamber of commerce has been denied due to a claim from Steve’s Electric against our boss. As an added kicker, we threw in a paragraph about illegal construction that the building inspector will be investigating and that any projects that aren’t up to code have to be removed. We used eFax to send the forged letter to ourselves and left it on the fax machine.
About halfway through the day, my boss found it and fucking flipped his shit. He immediately got on the phone with his lawyer and started screaming at the guy about how he’s going to sue Steve’s Electric for defamation of character, etc. The whole time everyone in the office is laughing to the point of tears and telling our boss to get off the phone, but he isn’t listening. The poor sucker probably ran up a $500 lawyer bill on the phone, hung up and then immediately called the city and started yelling at some secretary. I finally went over and unplugged his phone before he could do any more damage, and we all shouted “April fools!” in between tears of laughter.
Here’s reader Paul Nordin’s submitted prank:
A girl that I don’t like very much changed her status on April Fools day to single. I used to be good friends with her boyfriend but part of the reason I’m not anymore is because of her. I knew that they
didn’t break up but I began imagining what would happen if somebody did. As quick as I could I sent her the following text “Well I guess I don’t have to keep this a secret anymore: he cheated on you with this girl Cristine a few years back and more recently with a girl from Safeway” The greatest part of this was the two girls I had in mind were girls that my friend actually wanted to sleep with. and when this girl confronted him about this it turned out that he actually did sleep with Christine. Kind of a double-whammy.
Here’s reader Ocean Leigh’s submitted prank:
Took Quaker Steak and Lube’s hottest wing sauce (which is hotter than hell), then dipped red gum into it, let it dry, and carefully put the gum back into the packaging. Next day gave it to kids at school. I had to use red gum so it wouldn’t look tampered. Wasn’t very easy for them to explain why their face suddenly got red and that they started crying since chewing gum isn’t allowed at our school.
Congratulations to our winners, and a major thanks to everyone who entered the contest. Unfortunately, we have no more copies to give out of this awesome album. So if you want to purchase Obscura’s Omnivium for yourself, head over to Relapse Record’s web store, and keep up to date on all things Obscura through the band’s Facebook page.