Metal Insider’s Top 5 is a column where we count down the top five of…well basically anything.

Last week, Revolver announced their annual “Hottest Chicks That We Exploit That Don’t Really Mind Being Exploited And That’s How The Magazine Stays In Business In Hard Rock” issue, to predictable results. Every year the issue is announced and released, it pisses off female musicians who feel that their art is being trivialized in favor of how they look and what sex they are (more on that here). Meanwhile Revolver enjoys their biggest sales boost of the year for the issue, so it’s not like they’re going to stop publishing it any time soon. While it’s ridiculous that people should be marginalized for how they look, Metal Insider can play that card too, so with tongue firmly planted in cheek, here’s our subjective look at the Ugliest Dudes in Hard Rock And Metal – don’t worry, we’re not trying to sell you a calendar.

5. Bobby Liebling (Pentagram)
Sure, the guy’s like 70 (actually, only 56), but even during the band’s early ’70s initial incarnation, he was a pretty scary looking dude. Granted, looking like you’re on an acid trip and a meth binge at the same time only helps the band’s lyrics and image, but you’d be more likely to find him on the cover of Wizard Beat than Tiger Beat. [photo via]

 
4. Big Dad Ritch (Texas Hippie Coalition)

Actually, this is the band/dude that sparked the idea for this article after we saw them open for Kill Devil Hill last night. You can’t take away that the Pantera-inspired band is fun to watch and that that Ritch is a solid frontman. But maybe a little too solid, if you catch my drift. More like Texas Hoagie Coalition, amirite?

3. Matt Pike (High On Fire, Sleep)

There is no denying Pike’s talent as a guitar player and frontman. He has done a lot for the stoner rock/doom metal genre both with Sleep and High On Fire. However, he’s not exactly the prettiest sight to see when he performs on stage shirtless, w

2. Steve Grimmett (Grim Reaper)

When even Beavis and Butt Head tell you your face “sucks,” you might be a redneck. Er, we mean, be one of the top five ugliest dudes in metal. And it also doesn’t help that he looks like the mom in Throw Momma From The Train. [photo via]

1. Lemmy Kilmister (Motörhead)

Everyone loves Lemmy, that is a fact. And he may be one of the most influential figures in metal ever. However, he’s also one pretty ugly dude. But that isn’t why Lemmy is number 1 on this list. We ranked Lemmy #1 because he is proof that you can be a musical icon and inspire an entire genre of music despite being ugly as fuck. Sure, having the looks will get you a little more coverage than joe shmoe (as proven by Revolver Magazine), but in the end of the day, it’s about the quality of music you produce. Good looks don’t create legends. Plus, Lemmy still gets laid more than most models (and probably by some models).