Chris Cornell’s wfe Vicky has broken the silence, giving her first interview since the Soundgarden frontman’s death a little over a month ago. While Cornell’s death was ruined a suicide, his family has stated that he wasn’t suicidal, blaming his death on anti-anxiety medication. Speaking to People, Cornell says that her husband had been sober for years

“My Chris was happy, loving, caring and warm,” says Vicky. “This was not a depressed man—it wasn’t like I missed that. What I missed were the signs of addiction. [..] He didn’t want to die,” she says. “If he was of sound mind, I know he wouldn’t have done this.”

In the interview, she said that after the Detroit show, she was woken up by the lights in her house turning on and off from an app controlled by Cornell on his phone. She said a call with him was what prompted her to call his bodyguard, who broke down two doors to find him unresponsive in the bathroom ofhis hotel room.

“He was on a rant,” she says. “I said, ‘You need to tell me what you took,’ and he just got mean. That wasn’t my Chris.”

It still has to be an incredibly sad and raw time for Cornell and her children. If she’s going to be able to use his death as a pulpit to speak out against addiction and help others, there could be the slightest bit of a silver lining to his sad death.